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Calmed By CHAOS
Wallet Biopsy Tote – Because Ignorance Was Bliss
Wallet Biopsy Tote – Because Ignorance Was Bliss
Regular price
$24.90 AUD
Regular price
Sale price
$24.90 AUD
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Congratulations! You’ve just diagnosed yourself with Wallet Biopsy Syndrome—the sudden, horrifying realization that all your money has mysteriously vanished. (Spoiler: You spent it.) But hey, at least you can carry your buyer’s remorse in style!
This tote is your new sidekick for daily errands, work, or those “just browsing” shopping trips that end in financial devastation. Made from durable, all-over printed polyester with sturdy cotton denim handles, it’s strong enough to carry everything from groceries to the emotional weight of your bad spending habits.
Bag Stats (For Those Who Read the Fine Print Before Buying—Unlike You Did Last Time)
Material: 100% polyester with 100% natural cotton bull denim handles (because some things should last longer than your paycheck)
Size: 15″ × 15″ (39 × 39 cm)—plenty of room for receipts and regret
Capacity: 2.6 US gal (10 L)—or roughly $200 worth of impulse purchases
Max weight limit: 44 lbs (20 kg)—strong enough to carry all the things you swore you didn’t need
Handle length: 26″ (67 cm), width 1″ (2.5 cm)—long enough to sling over your shoulder as you run from financial responsibility
Hand-sewn with care (unlike your spending habits)
Fabric is OEKO-TEX 100 certified—so at least your tote bag is making responsible life choices
🛍️ Made on demand—because the only thing worse than being broke is wastefulness.
This bag is part of The DICKTIONARY collection by Calmed By CHAOS—a must-have for lovers of words, wit, and wallet-related trauma.
This tote is your new sidekick for daily errands, work, or those “just browsing” shopping trips that end in financial devastation. Made from durable, all-over printed polyester with sturdy cotton denim handles, it’s strong enough to carry everything from groceries to the emotional weight of your bad spending habits.
Bag Stats (For Those Who Read the Fine Print Before Buying—Unlike You Did Last Time)
Material: 100% polyester with 100% natural cotton bull denim handles (because some things should last longer than your paycheck)
Size: 15″ × 15″ (39 × 39 cm)—plenty of room for receipts and regret
Capacity: 2.6 US gal (10 L)—or roughly $200 worth of impulse purchases
Max weight limit: 44 lbs (20 kg)—strong enough to carry all the things you swore you didn’t need
Handle length: 26″ (67 cm), width 1″ (2.5 cm)—long enough to sling over your shoulder as you run from financial responsibility
Hand-sewn with care (unlike your spending habits)
Fabric is OEKO-TEX 100 certified—so at least your tote bag is making responsible life choices
🛍️ Made on demand—because the only thing worse than being broke is wastefulness.
This bag is part of The DICKTIONARY collection by Calmed By CHAOS—a must-have for lovers of words, wit, and wallet-related trauma.
