SUCKRIFICE Tote – Because Life’s Not Fair, and Neither is This Bag

Ah yes, the SUCKRIFICE—doing that thing you must do, even though you’d rather set yourself on fire. Whether it’s work, parenting, exercising, or pretending to enjoy small talk, this tote understands your pain.

Carry your daily burdens (or at least your keys, laptop, and emotional baggage) in this sturdy, all-over printed tote. The cotton bull denim handles ensure it won’t give up on you—unlike your motivation did this morning.

Product Stats (For Those Forced to Be Responsible)
Material: 100% polyester with 100% natural cotton bull denim handles (tough, just like you)
Size: 15″ × 15″ (39 × 39 cm)—perfect for carrying both essentials and resentment
Capacity: 2.6 US gal (10 L)—big enough for the weight of your obligations
Max weight limit: 44 lbs (20 kg)—strong enough to hold all your crushed dreams
Handle length: 26″ (67 cm), width 1″ (2.5 cm)—long enough to sling over your shoulder as you dramatically sigh
Hand-sewn with precision—because at least something in life is put together
Fabric is OEKO-TEX 100 certified—so while life sucks, your tote bag doesn’t ruin the planet

🛍️ Made on demand—because unnecessary suffering is one thing, but unnecessary waste? Unacceptable.

This gem is part of The DICKTIONARY collection by Calmed By CHAOS—for those who appreciate a good laugh (and a solid dose of sarcasm).

🛍️ Made on demand—because unnecessary suffering is one thing, but unnecessary waste? Unacceptable.

This gem is part of The DICKTIONARY collection by Calmed By CHAOS—for those who appreciate a good laugh (and a solid dose of sarcasm).